One of my greatest frustrations as a physician who cares for individuals with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is that everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, thinks that they can do my job. It’s amazing to me how often I hear from parents that they have come for an evaluation because their child’s teacher mentioned to them in a conference that their child might have ADHD. That one doesn’t bother me too much because I can appreciate that a teacher, who is struggling to impart wisdom to a child, is expressing their concern to a parent. But it doesn’t stop there, I’ll hear that the soccer coach said something, then it’s the choir director or the girl scout leader. My kids even think that they are experts, as if they gained a certain knowledge set by just being my off-spring. We’ll be out at the mall and they will lean over to me and say, “Mom, I think that kid up there has ADHD”. Really?!?
The reality is that inattention can be the result of many, many factors with ADHD only being one (and sometimes not even the most important one). I’ll use myself as an example. I have just completed a very intensive week of study at Babson College for their 10,000 Small Business Program. I am mentally drained and exhausted while sitting in the airport writing this blog. I know I’ve got to get this done because my deadline is tomorrow, but I find myself getting distracted every other minute by just about everything. Do I have ADHD because I’m struggling to stay focused to get this task done? The answer is NO! In fact, I have been tested and I know for sure that I don’t have ADHD. What I am right now is tired and being tired often looks like ADHD.
What about the boy in class who frequently puts his head down on the desk while the teacher is talking and writing on the board, does he have ADHD? Or the girl who always seems to be gazing out of the window or lost in thought. Does she have ADHD? If you asked five people to observe those two kids and tell you what they think is wrong, I guarantee you someone will say “ADHD”.
So why are we so quick in our culture to jump to ADHD? Since I haven’t done the research on this topic, I obviously can’t give you a definitive answer. But what I can tell you is that 11% of school-aged children in the United States have ADHD. That is a staggeringly high number. I believe the statistic, but what I don’t necessarily believe is that ADHD is causing problems for all those people. In fact, those individuals with a diagnosis of ADHD often have other conditions that can lead to inattention as well. ADHD’s “kissing cousins”, as I like to call them, include learning disabilities, autism, anxiety, depression, processing disorders, oppositional defiant disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder. Each of these issues can result in inattention. Each of these can lead to difficulty starting or completing a task as well as distractibility.
So how do you know what’s going on? My point is, just by looking, you can’t. Here’s the part that is most disturbing to me as a physician: a lot of parents won’t seek care for their child if they suspect ADHD because they don’t want their child on medication. Would their response be different if the teacher said, “I think your son may have a learning disability” or if the football coach said, “I think your child may be depressed”?
Here’s the take home message, you can’t look at someone who is not paying attention or having difficulty completing a task and determine from that 5-minute observation that they have ADHD. You can’t even observe them for 2 days, 2 weeks or even 2 months and know with certainty just based on that observation alone that they have ADHD. What you can observe and comment on is that their inattention is making it difficult for them to learn or get some tasks accomplished and that is what is most important.
I don’t want anyone to jump to an ill-informed conclusion and then allow the fear of ADHD to prevent them from obtaining real answers that could lead to real solutions. Inattention is an issue; it is one that we know how to thoroughly evaluate and support. Let us in the medical community handle this one. Don’t fear the outcome but embrace that there is a solution. Did you ever think that the girl who always seems to be gazing out of the window may be thinking about her grandmother who has Alzheimer’s and for the last couple of months doesn’t seem to recognize her. Or maybe the boy who is putting his head down on the desk is doing so because he has a visual issue that causes his eyes to hurt after he has read too much. In each case, they need to be evaluated but the treatment is much different. If you, the teacher, the coach, the choir director or even the store clerk expresses a concern, don’t hesitate to have your child evaluated. Only then will you be able to help.
I recently heard a wonderful quote by Nelson Mandela that read, “I never lose. I either win or I learn”. I thought that was profound. So much so that I considered adding the quote to my signature block (which I’m sure I will get around to one day).
It made me think about my own experiences. I frequently say that “failure is not an option.” In my mind, if I do fail that just means I have provided myself with an opportunity to do better next time. I guess it’s the same idea but Mr. Mandela said it better.
At my clinic, one point we always try to make after we tell a parent their child has been diagnosed with either ADHD or Autism is that neither diagnosis is a curse. In fact, both diagnoses are blessings. I continue to be impressed by the resilience of my patients to grow within each diagnosis and become a truly unique and phenomenal individual. After all, an individual with ADHD, Autism or any learning disability is born that way. They didn’t catch Autism from their friend, get it from an immunization or from the gluten or red dye in their food. A person with Autism or ADHD is just that: a person. They are just the way their God intended them to be. Last I checked, my God doesn’t make mistakes.
The only issue I see with these diagnoses is that you don’t know you have them. Your parents don’t know you have them and neither does your teacher or friends. Eventually, your behavior may change and even become undesirable as a result. That behavior change would be the clue that something is going on. Another problem is that sometimes folks don’t know what to make of these behaviors. I’ve heard everything imaginable. I’ve been told that a 6-year-old is still going through the “terrible twos” that the other kids are making him behave this way or the classic explanation is that “he’s a boy.” The key is, if your child is not acting like the majority of kids his age, whether that be less mature or more mature, he warrants evaluation.
Knowing what’s going on and putting a name to it can be a liberating experience, if for no other reason than now you as the parent have insight into why your child is thinking, saying or doing what they are. That’s when the Superhero training begins . . .
Are you a winner? The answer is a resounding “YES”.